Who is both super lame and all hopped up on allergy medicine and is therefore going to bed before 10pm
I also have to work with middle schoolers tomorrow so I need sleep (please let there *not* be another bomb threat like today and we had to be evacuated and also please let this not be another “here you are clearly, severely under qualified, you get to teach special education today” situation because s.p.e.d. is exhausting and stressful)
23/04/13 @ 10:43pm
■ and i still have a few more CDs to load up but i'll do that tomorrow
So now I have like 11 gigs of music on my computer that’s cool.
If I ever wanted to listen to music for 5 days straight and not hear the same thing twice.
I cleaned. A lot. And threw a lot of stuff away that’s just been sitting there not really doing much except gathering dust.
And now I reek of bleach because I cleaned my bathroom too and WE DON’T DO THINGS HALF-ASSED AROUND HERE.
But there is now less dust and less stuff in my room.
Oh and I broke the lock on this box that’s been in my closet for ages and there are ROLLER SKATES INSIDE. Not inline skates. ROLLER SKATES.
Except the wheels are black and I don’t think there’s a real brake on them. Oops.
I might be trying them out on Thursday or whenever I’m not working the rest of this week.
I’m having an “everything needs to change” itch again.
Today it’s concerning my hair. Again.
Knock it off, impulses, we’re going to end up doing something dumb one of these days.
New avatar that isn’t Luna WHAT OH NO
But it’s storyboarding from the final episode of Sailor Moon SuperS!!!
Anyway, I will never change my username but sometimes I change my icon. Like, super rarely do I change my icon kbye
I’m pretty sure there’s an evil elf following my resume around going “Don’t hire her” and I kind of want to punch it in the face.
Jesus fucking H Christ, I just want to know what the fuck I’m doing wrong.
Sorry that I want to earn a living wage? Sorry that I’ve done restaurant work before and I will shoot myself in the foot before doing that again?
Sorry that I feel that I have to fall on the charity of others on a crowdfunding website that isn’t even doing me much good, because I have fucking bills to pay even though no one in the entire country will give me a job? (I can literally count the number of states I have not applied in on one hand. Alaska, Hawaii, Minnesota, Maine, New Hampshire. Too cold, too expensive, too cold, basically Canada, can’t find anything)
I’m so… tired of being angry. So much so that I’ve pretty much walled away my feelings and exist in an emotionless state (I learned how to do that a long time ago. Side effects include gaining the ability to repress memories and consequently never remembering anything at all, and also when you start thinking about the stuff that’s upsetting you just collapse under the weight of emotional turmoil and have a mental breakdown)
I’m sick of it and I just need a goddamn chance, but no one’s giving it to me.
So, to add to the list of things that stress me out, my parents have started nagging me about grad school. Again.
See, there’s this problem. The problem is that I don’t necessarily want to go to grad school. And yet they’re insisting on it. And then I’m like “So how am I going to pay for it?” and they’re like “Loans” and I’m like “Great, because, you know, I can’t pay the ones I have now off”
And then they wonder why I go off on my own and don’t talk to them. Well, maybe because every opportunity they get, they jump on me about how I’m not doing anything with my life and I should go to grad school because you need a master’s degree to get a job these days.
I’m sorry but when I started college, it was “You need a bachelor’s to get a job these days.” I shudder to think that my kids are going to need Ph.D’s to get anywhere in life.
And clearly, the solution to me not doing anything with my life is taking on assloads more debt and getting another fancy piece of paper that won’t get me a job.
You do not get a master’s degree when you don’t know what else to do with your life. You don’t. That’s fucking stupid.
And I DON’T WANT TO. Because why am I going to accumulate more debt just to have a piece of paper in something I don’t want? None of my interests are things that make money. And my dad’s like “Your hobbies are your hobbies. Your job is your job.” WHY CAN’T MY JOB BE SOMETHING I LIKE?
I just… I don’t know what to do. The only thing I know is that I don’t want to go to grad school.
Why do I have so many pictures of your face and why do I miss you so freaking much…
It’s not a terrible thing. I just don’t know how I feel about you. I think I’ve locked part of you away in my head, so it doesn’t hurt so much.
But I think some part of me will always love you.
05/08/12 @ 01:12pm
■ doctor who
plot hole? We shall see.
Not a fixed point. They existed in that point, and they might not exist in another. (also we don’t *KNOW* that they’ll die)
Because Rory also disappeared from the hillside after he was absorbed by the crack.